The 4 Month Sleep Regression: why it happens and how to survive it
The 4 Month Sleep Regression is Actually a Progression
The 4 month sleep regression is exhausting. REALLY exhausting. And since lots of babies fall into a nice rhythm with sleep around 3 months, the timing can be especially brutal for some parents. Just when you thought you had it figured out..BAM. Your baby has other plans.
There are also those babies whose sleep goes from fragmented at best to basically nonexistent during the 4 month regression. My first was one of those babies. I was a blubbering, exhausted mess and was licking my wounds for longer than I’d care to admit. There are also those babies who float through this regression unscathed, sleeping soundly both before, during, and after. But those little ones are the exception, not the norm, and these tend to be the babies who’d sleep anywhere, at any time, on their own, from the beginning. Those parents probably aren’t googling “4 month sleep regression” or “how to make a baby sleep at night” —so we won’t mentioning those fortunate souls anymore.
But the funny thing about this sleep “regression” in particular, is that whether or not your baby’s sleep is impacted by it, the brain development which causes the “regression” happens behind the scenes to everyone—every single baby. And it’s actually a huge progression, and a permanent change is sleep architecture, so the term sleep regression really shouldn’t apply here. So let’s call it what it is: the 4 Month Sleep Progression.
What do sleep regressions look like?
Well, they’re disruptive for sure. Whether you’re dealing with the 4 month sleep progression, the 8-9-10 month, the 12 month, 18 month or 2 year “regression,” it can lead to more frequent night wakings, short and sporadic naps, and trouble falling asleep both day and night. And since the child is not sleeping well, they may also be a hot mess. They become overtired, which pumps cortisol through the system, makes their limited executive functioning more limited, and often leads to increased crying and crankiness day and night.
But the 4 month regression is different than the others. Let’s talk about 4 month old development and how that plays into the big picture here.
3-4 Month Old Schedules and Development
A lot changes around 3-4 months of age. Your baby will graduate from newborn to true babyhood. You’ll likely notice your baby being more alert and interactive with the world around them. They can handle longer periods of wakefulness and will want to engage with you a lot during their awake times, which is delightful. But please don’t stretch them past two hours awake just yet – they likely need to nap again if they’ve been awake 90 minutes or so. If you let them party too long, they’ll get overtired (which will intensify the sleep regression “symptoms”).
Babies start producing melatonin around this age as well, which helps to regulate our sleep-wake cycle drives an earlier bedtime, likely somewhere between 6:00-8:00PM (unless ya’ll live in a culture where everyone stays up later).
Sleep patterns also begin to mature around 3 to 4 months, and this change is permanent. They start sleeping in stages and cycles, just like adults. They’ll have a brief period of wakening after each sleep cycle, which is a hard-wired protective behavior designed to keep humans safe (whether you’re in a bed, crib, or on a dirt pallet in a cave 150,000 years ago).
So, where they may have slept soundly all night before (if you’ve been one of the lucky ones), or at least for 4 or 5 hour chunks, they now will begin cycling in and out of sleep, every hour or so, ALL NIGHT LONG. And here’s the big kicker: if they don’t know how to get back to sleep on their own, then each time they move from one sleep cycle to the next, they are going to need your help. This is the special nature of the 4 month sleep regression beast.
The 4 month sleep regression — in simple terms.
I think the best metaphor for this would be to imagine you pass out watching Netflix on the couch, but then sometime in the middle of the night you woke up in your bed, you would likely open your eyes, sit upright and be very confused about how you got there. Did your loving partner carry you to bed? Did you sleep walk? Was it teleportation? This is exactly what happens when a baby falls asleep in your arms (or while sucking on a bottle or nipple or pacifier that has since fallen out) or a swing or carseat and then wakes up alone in their crib.
Let’s take a closer look at this. First, it’s important to note that we all cycle through sleep throughout the night. For adults, older children and even babies who have learned to sleep on their own, we will wake up briefly and roll back over to sleep. But, again, if you crashed on the couch and then wake up at 1am in your bed, you’ll like wake up fully and wonder how you got there, right? Or, if you fell asleep on your pillow and now it’s missing and you’re on the floor? WEIRDNESS. So, the same principle applies to your baby - and it’s why we see so many new night wakings once a baby hits the 4 month mark. If your baby fell asleep in your arms - or while sucking on a bottle or your breast - and then wakes up all alone in their crib, they are more likely to jolt awake and cry than if they were to simply wake up in their crib just like they had been when they fell asleep. Make sense?
So, if your baby is jarred awake because they’re in a different situation than the one under which they fell asleep, they’re going to wake you up a lot. In fact, some babies wake as frequently as at the end of every sleep cycle (so every 40-60 minutes or so) though most families will note waking every 2-3 hours.
Daytime sleep cycles or shorter, so if your baby is jarred awake at the end of sleep cycles during the day as well, you’re probably looking at 30 minute naps for a while.
For most babies, the 4 month regression, I mean PROGRESSION, lasts 2 to 6 weeks or until they learn to fall asleep where and how you want them to sleep all night. Hang in there, dear parent. There will surely be some sweet moments too.
Photo courtesy of Ana Tables, @Tables08
How to manage the 4 Month Sleep Progression
Embrace parental power naps. If you can grab a 15 minute snooze either at home while your baby is sleeping, in your office or cubicle at work, or even with the front seat reclined in your car, you’ll be surprised what a huge difference closing your eyes and resting for a few minutes will do for your mental and physical health.
Avoid overtiredness and watch those awake windows. We’ve got you covered - check out this blog or download our free Sleep Needs by Age guide to make sure your schedule is on point.
Create a “baby cave” to promote the best sleep possible during this crapola time.
Establish a consistent bedtime and naptime routine to help soothe your baby and teach them what to expect. Check out our 3 C’s of the bedtime routine to ensure your baby is getting what they need.
Be patient. Your baby may be waking and crying more in the night now, more than ever, which sucks. But if you can avoid picking them up immediately, you’ll also avoid accidentally waking them (babies cry out a lot in their sleep). Patience will also serve you well if you can remind yourself that this period will be over soon. I know, easier said than done.
Try your darndest to not introduce new sleep crutches. For example, if your baby was previously falling asleep on their own or with just a little patting or snuggling, try reassuring them without putting them all the way to sleep before you go to full on rock-to-sleep mode or nurse-to-sleep mode.
Finally, if your baby’s sleep is still in the can after a 2+ weeks of the regression period, the key to getting your sleep (and life) back, is to help your baby learn to fall asleep on their own. We’ll take a deep dive into this issue in next week’s blog so stay tuned! Or, feel free to schedule a FREE intro call with our founder to learn about how Little Dipper can help you here.
Godspeed, dear parents of babies who are amidst the 4 month sleep regression, or any sleep troubles for that matter. We feel your pain and exhaustion, and send you loads of love.
Sleep Regression Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: My baby falls asleep on their own so doesn’t this mean they won’t be affected by sleep regressions?
A: Maybe, maybe not. If a baby falls asleep on their own and generally sleeps through the night and takes superb naps, then chances are they won’t be as negatively impacted by the regressions. But, be warned, when babies are learning new skills, going through periods of separation anxiety, or going through a Wonder Weeks Leap, they may wake up crying.
Q: How long will the sleep regression last?
A: They tend to last 4 to 6 weeks. If it’s longer than that, you’re likely looking at a semi-permanent habit that likely needs troubleshooting if you want it to resolve.
Q: My baby was born early. When will the sleep regression happen for them?
A: If your child was born early, we go by their adjusted age for sleep development. Sleep regression signs may appear later for a premature baby and this totally and completely normal.
Q: My baby just wants to practice their new tricks in the crib all night. What should I do?
A: Leave them be unless they are truly upset. You can’t force a child to sleep and the more you intervene, the more stimulated they’ll get, and the longer you’ll both be awake. If Baby wants to practice crawling in the crib while you’re sleeping, that’s their cute little prerogative to do so.
Q: Which regression is the worst?
A: None of them and all of them. This varies so much from one baby to the next. But, keep in mind that the 18 month and 2 year sleep regressions include a component of toddlerhood, so their flavor is a little different since limit setting may be involved.
Q: Can you prevent sleep regressions from happening?
A: Not entirely. But, if your child’s schedule is on point, their security bucket is full, you have a solid bedtime routine, and they know how to put themselves to sleep, the chances of massive impact are much reduced.
Q: My baby just wants to nurse all night long now. What should I do?
A: The world is so exciting these days, and your little one may be too jazzed about it to nurse well during the day — which can lead to more nursing in the night. For daytime nursing sessions, try nursing in a dark room with white noise to help keep your little one focused on the task at hand. If that’s not possible, try maintaining eye contact with them while they nurse, sing them a song, or use a nursing necklace to keep their attention.